The tailor Mendel Katz lived with his prolific family in a small village together with other tailors, cobblers, poor musicians and strange and wise rabbis… They lived in poverty and as head of the house Mendel worked from early in the morning to late at night, sewing shirts, vests and trousers. The work had to be done very carefully and peace and quiet was required to concentrate, otherwise all sorts of things happened: a sleeve was sewn to trousers, or a pant-leg to a shirt. Mendel often made such mistakes. Why? For several reasons. His wife Sonya was a great village gossip. The children–five girls and even worse, ten bone-headed boys. And wife Sonya also had a spinster sister, a mother dissatisfied with everything and a father who was going deaf. This was reason enough for someone to be driven out of their mind.
The entire family lived in a tiny house. Mendel’s sewing machine stood next to a dark window. How can one possibly work when the scandals never end from the morning onwards? But, as the local wise man Josef said, an end comes to every person’s patience, even that of a Jewish tailor. And one morning Mendel’s patience ended.
This is how it happened. Mendel began sewing in the morning, the entire famished family sat around the table, the children banged their spoons waiting for the porridge to be ready. Sonya put a pot of porridge on the table and stood there in silence, but not for long. The eldest daughter, blue-eyed Riva, a real boss, pointed her finger towards, she told the youngest daughter, a fly which had alighted on the ceiling, and this young fool of a girl turned her head upwards and began searching for the fly. You understand that this was exactly what Riva had wanted. As soon as the youngest understood she had been tricked and her porridge eaten, she began to howl so that even the deaf father-in-law was awakened from his slumber, the mother-in-law in fright and the unexpectedness of the thing sat on the cat. And so it began… Mendel’s wife grabbed the broom and began chasing the eldest daughter through the small house with it. The brush flew off the handle and hit the wedding dress which Sonya’s quiet spinster sister had been sewing.
A miracle happened! The always-silent sister turned into a dragon. The sisters began to exchange blows, Mendel jumped in to break them up and the girls suddenly went to the forbidden sewing machine and just as quickly sewed three sleeves to a pair of trousers, trousers to a vest and the vest to something else. Now everyone in the house was busy. But seeing how the children had wrecked the clothes he was working on, Mendel for the first time in his life pounded his fist on the table and yelled: “Silence!” Suddenly the pot emptied of porridge sitting on the table jumped up and came back down right on top of the father-in-law’s head. His voice emerging from the pot overcame all other noises and sounded like the trumpet of the archangel. The neighbors had only been waiting for such a signal: they dropped what they were doing and everyone ran to Mendel’s house in order to give him their most cherished possession: their sensible advice. Some said they should break the pot, others said they should hang the old man upside down and the pot would fall off by itself. But the mother-in-law wouldn’t let anyone break the pot: it was her only possession. When they turned the old man upside down he began to yell so loudly that the sound of the archangel’s trumpet was that of a soft flute in comparison.
Hopelessly Mendel fled the house and went right to the local wise man, the old rabbi Josef who, he thought, was his last hope. For a long time Mendel told the rabbi of his troubles and misfortunes. The rabbi listened to him without interrupting: a person has to let it all out for once in his life.
Finally Mendel had confessed all of his heartache and waited for the advice the old rabbi would give.
The wise rabbi said:
“Mendel Katz, go and buy a goat and bring it into your house.”
“Why a goat? Mendel asked, surprised, but the wise man was no longer listening to him and began to read the Talmud.
Mendel decided to follow the advice and went to market to ask for advice. He looked for a goat to buy for a long time. Since he had very little money, he bought the leanest goat there was from a Gypsy. He not only paid his last groshen in the bargain, he threw in his vest as well.
It was even harder to get the stubborn goat home. Mendel only reached his house late in the evening, pulling the goat into his small home and tying it to the door with a rope, and then fall into bed next to Sonya and fast asleep. While the whole family slept, the goat gnawed through the rope and began eating Sonya’s unmarried sister’s wedding dress until only the veil was left on its horns. Then it began to lick the sleeping Sonya, who was greatly frightened, jumped out the window and began to awaken all the neighbors. The cat jumped on the mother-in-law. All hell broke loose. The tiny house rocked with the terrible noise: dishes broke, the father-in-law’s voice boomed out of the pot. Such a thing had never happened in the tiny town before. The neighbors led by Sonya busted into the house and within a minute had broken the pot on the father-in-law’s head, and the trumpet of the archangel fell silent. But then with a great bang Mendel threw open the door and ran out, and the goat with the veil on its horns followed. Sonya’s sister quickly began trying to rescue the remains of her wedding costume…
Early that morning Mendel, tortured and covered with bruises, again went to the home of the wise man and began to tell of his troubles. The rabbi listened to him and didn’t interrupt: he seemed to know already what advice to give to the unfortunate tailor Mendel.
The wise rabbi spoke:
“Mendel Katz, sell the goat.”
“Why did I buy it yesterday and today I have to sell the goat?” Mendel asked in surprise again, but the wise man was no longer listening and had begun reading the Talmud.
There was nothing else for Mendel to do, so he went to market. But it was more difficult to sell the goat than it had been to buy it. He had wasted a lot of time when he saw the Gypsy again and got back only his vest in exchange for the goat. Mendel took a long time walking home, talking to himself and wondering whether his life would finally ever change.
When Mendel returned home, the whole famished family sat around the table, the children pounded their spoons, and Mendel also sat down. Sonya put down the put and heaved porridge into the children’s bowls. Everyone was silent. And then the youngest daughter told the eldest, Riva, there was a fly crawling on the ceiling. Riva smiled, turned up her head and pretended not to see how the smallest one then grabbed her porridge. Everyone watched the children and waited for what Mendel would say. Mendel began to laugh, and then his wife Sonya, her sister and finally the mother-in-law began to laugh wildly. Even the father-in-law smiled. Not waiting for anything else, the children got into their trousers and shirts sewn together and began to dance. Then Mendel Katz could stand it no longer because if you have successfully exchanged a goat for a vest, and your children are dancing around, you’d have to be worst fool not to dance with them freylakh. And Mendel began to dance… He danced and he thought, Rabbi Josef truly is the most intelligent person in the entire town. He would have to go visit him tomorrow and wish him health and many long years of life. He would have to do that for certain.
[translator’s note: Gypsy was chosen over Roma as a more historical correspondence to the word used in the original Lithuanian and no offense was intended.